Until I fall apart
by Selina666
Summary: Haruka is seeing a future that she would die to stop. Mamoru doesn't know what's wrong with the girl. She isnt telling his something. What happens when she tries to stop it? will her future with Mamoru be saved, or will it fall apart?
1. Chapter 1: Don't Leave Me

Chapter 1: Dont leave me...

Mamoru woke with a start as a shrill scream echoed from the room down the hall. Stumbling out of his bed, cursing as he got tangled in the sheets, he ran down to Haruka's room and wretched the door open.

Haruka was hunched over on her bed, sobbing quietly. Mamoru slowly walked over, sitting down next to her.

"Haruka? Whats the matter with you?" He demanded. Mamoru was not known for being soft, and even his concern sounded more like an annoyed demand. Still, Haruka was used to his curt manner. She slowly started to calm down, but still didn't look up at him.

"It..was just..a bad dream…" She mumbled. He looked at her skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"Must have been one hell of a dream, that scream could have woken the dead. About gave me a heart attack." He chuckled, trailing off when she didn't respond. "All right, so tell me about the dream then." He said. He frowned when she shook her head.

"I…I can't.." She said weakly. He scowled as she buried her head in her arms again

"And why is that?" He demanded. Again she shook her head, offering no other answer. Mamoru stood and was about to leave, grumbling, when Haruka's shaking hand reached out and grabbed his. He looked down at it, then at her.

"Please…don't leave me…" The girl was trembling. "Please…I'm s-sorry.." She trailed off sobbing. Bewildered, he sat down again, awkwardly putting his arm around her slender shoulders. He cautiously moved her hair out of her face, which was damp with sweat and tears.

"Haruka…why are you sorry?" He shook his head in confusion. He was the one who was an insensitive prick, so why was she apologizing? He waited but got no reply. Her halting gasps had calmed to deep even breathes. She'd fallen asleep again. He sighed and carefully tucked her back in. Standing he left the room, shutting the door quietly

Artists comments

As much as I wish otherwise, I do not own any of the UDDUP characters.

Allright, I truly love this manga, and have wanted to write a fan fic for it for some time now. At the begining of the manga, we find out Haruka had a vision that Mamoru would be her husband. However, very little has happened thus far to suggest a change in Mamoru's feelings toward the girl yet. He appears to see her as just another kid. This doesnt seem to be changing. I wanted to write a fan fic about this change happening, but without the characters seeming too different from the original artists portrayal. So i couldnt just have Mamoru wake up and realize he loved her. something had to push him to the realization. What will that be? read on to find out! :D

comment and tell me what you think!


	2. Chapter 2: Innocence

Chapter 2: Innocence

Mamoru woke with a tired yawn. He listened for the sounds of Haruka cooking breakfast downstairs, and was surprised when he was greeted with silence. Groaning he stood up, and ambled toward the door. He yanked it open.

"Haruka?" He yelled, trailing into a huge yawn. Grumbling he walked downstairs, and into the kitchen. He grunted in surprise and frustration as he tripped over something large. He fumbled for his glasses, cursing. Haruka knew better than to move the furniture without telling him. He got the glasses on, and stared at the object blankly. And overturned chair lay in the middle of the floor. Looking up, he noticed the whole room was in disarray.

"Haruka?" Stumbling, he rushed to the kitchen. As he tripped over yet another chair, he knocked the phone onto the floor. He froze as a message on the machine started to play.

"Good morning Mamoru San. As you may have noticed, something is missing from your household. Don't worry, your little pet is alive. If you want to save her, I suggest you come to 1254  
East Main street as soon as you get this message. We have a lot to discuss my friend. See you soon."

The machine went silent after a harsh click. Mamoru debated on whether to call the wall members, but decided against it. If the kidnapper felt pressured or threatened, he might hurt Haruka. Cursing again, he rushed outside. He knew this address, though he couldn't remember how…

Not ten minutes later Mamoru arrived at his destination. Sweat plastered his hair to his for head. It was hot out today he noted absent mindedly. Cautiously he went inside the old building, keeping one hand on the hilt of his katana.

"Ah, you've arrived!" Mamoru tensed as the loud voice boomed, echoing off the old damp walls.

"And just in time, we've just finished." The man said chuckling. Mamoru growled.

"What did you do with Haruka?" He demanded. A faint whimper broke the following silence, and Mamoru spotted the small outline of haruka. She appeared to be tied to a chair.

"Oh the girl is alive my good man, just tired." He chuckled darkly and Mamoru clenched his fists.

"Let her go, and I might spare your life and settle for leaving you paralyzed for the rest of your miserable existence." He barked harshly at the kidnapper. His enemy ignored the demand.

"Are you sure you want her back? She's not the innocent little girl you've been keeping as a house pet for these last few months." The stranger grinned and Mamoru's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked slowly. By way of answering the man removed Haruka's gag.

"Why don't you ask Haruka?" He paused. "Go on my dear, tell him. Tell him how you came to me, how you offered yourself to me." Haruka sobbed quietly, mumbling apologies. The man grunted. "Then I'll tell him shall I?" He turned to smirk at Mamoru before continuing. "Haruka wasn't kidnapped. She came here on her own after I asked her."

Mamoru stayed silent, glaring at the man.

"I can see you don't believe me, so let me explain. You see, dear little Haruka here had a bad dream. A bad man was coming for her guardian, and this time, her guardian wouldn't make it. He'd die, and leave poor little Haruka all alone in the world. But, there was a small chance, a future that showed her beloved guardian alive. But, she had to pay a price for your safety." The man tilted his head, smiling. "Can you guess what it was Mamoru? The girls had her parents taken from her, her family, her freedom. All she had was you. So, she either had to watch you die, or watch the part of her she kept protected for you be taken away."

Mamoru shook his head in confusion, then went rigid as realization dawned on him. "No….you didn't…." He stared at the man, horrified for only the second time in his life. Haruka's loud sob confirmed his fears.

The criminal smiled and stated easily,"That's right Mamoru….I took her innocence from her."

Artists comments:

ok I still don't own them, except the creepy criminal guy.

allright, the plot thickens! Please no flames people. To me this seemed the perfect way to push the two main characters forward. You'll see as the chapters progress.

Comment please, but dont flame me. Of all people, i know the seriousness of rape, its no joking matter. This is meant to develop the characters, not torture them.


	3. Chapter 3: Wounds of the Soul

Chapter 3: Wounds of the soul

Mamoru stared in shocked silence. The only sound in the room was Haruka's whimpers. Mamoru came to his senses and snarled at the man who had hurt Haruka.

"Coward! Forcing yourself on a young girl instead of coming to fight me like a man!" Mamoru yelled. The man stared at him calmly.

"But my good man, I have hurt you far worse than any blow or cut or bodily wound ever could. Wounds of the body may heal with time, and are forgotten. It's much more pleasurable to leave wounds that never heal, wounds to the heart and soul. You're lucky she's such a strong girl. Had she not suffered so much before now, this may have broken her completely." The man sighed. "But, alas, I will keep my word. Neither of you will die…today." A bright flash of light made Mamoru look away, and when he looked back, the villain was gone. Still shaken, he hurried over to Haruka, kneeling beside her. She looked away ashamed.

"Haruka…why…why didn't you tell me.."Mamoru whispered painfully. The girl didn't answer and he didn't press for answers. Carefully he untied her. Swiftly unbuttoning his shirt, he wrapped it around the trembling girl, and lifted her into his arms. "You need to go to the hospital." He said. The girl shivered and shook her head.

"Th..they'll take me away…" She whispered softly, clutching to him. He looked away.

"If that's what it takes to make you safe again…then so be it." He was surprised by how badly the words hurt to say. What surprised him more was the sharp impact of Haruka's hand against his cheek. He looked at her stunned.

"I just gave my innocence to save your life! Don't you leave me now…not now.."Her trembling intensified and Mamoru mentally chastised himself for his careless words. He held her tighter in his arms, walking toward the apartment.

When they got home, he took her upstairs to the bathroom. "Allright. I wont force you to go to the hospital…but we need to find out the extent of your injury…" He trailed off awkwardly. "It would be best if one of the organization's women did it…but as far as I know, they are both out of the country. So I suppose there's Igawa…" Haruka wasn't responding. He sighed. "I'll call him over then. Don't worry, he hardly counts as a guy anyway." This time Haruka seemed to crack a bit of a smile. Mamoru stood and walked to the phone downstairs. He waited impatiently as the phone rang. Igawa answereded.

"Yo, Igawa." The answer was tired. Apparently he had been asleep. Lazy dip shit.

"Igawa, get over here now." Mamoru said. The was a brief pause on the other end of the line.

"Allright, whats up man. I seriously just woke up." Mamorus impatience sparked.

"I don't give a rats ass when you woke up. I need you over here now." Igawa didn't respond for a few seconds.

"Allright, I'm on my way over." He said. Mamoru sighed in relief.

"Good."

"Yeah, be five minutes." The line went dead.

* * *

Artists Comments:

nope, still don't own any of them.

Allright. We're begining to see the emotional part of Mamorou, and the young vulnerable part of Haruka. Hope i'm not getting to out of character with them.

comments please!


	4. Chapter 4: Realization and Dread

Chapter 4: Realization and Dread

A sharp knock brought Mamoru to his senses. He opened the door and Igawa stood there.

"What's the emergency then?" He asked. Mamoru lead the way upstairs. He turned to look at Igawa.

"Haruka was…hurt. She won't go to the hospital because she's afraid they'll take her away when they discover that I'm not her family…"

Igawa looked perplexed. "Hurt? How? You barely let the girl out of your sight." Igawa went silent seeing the look on Mamorus face. It was guilt, remorse, regret. Things Igawa had never seen on the blind warriors face before. "Allright. What do you need from me then?"

Mamoru looked uncomfortable. "She needs someone to determine the extent of her injuries, and fix her up as best as possible…none of the women are available."

"And you couldn't do this because?" Igawa asked.

Mamoru sighed. "Because I'm blind one…and two…she's..very unstable. I'm not cut out for this kind of thing… just help her please."

Igawa blinked, taken aback. Another first for him, hearing a sincere "please" from the man. He nodded and walked over to the bathroom, knocking softly on the door.

"Haruka, I'm coming in ok?" He heard no answer other than the sound of a shower being turned off. He hadn't noticed it was on before. He waited a moment before opening the door.

It took him a moment to collect himself. Harukas arms were covered in bruises, as were her legs. Her middle was hidden by a towel. Her skin in some places seemed to have been rubbed raw. He cautiously walked into the room, closing the door. Haruka avoided his eyes.

"Haruka…." He kneeled in front of her.

She looked down. "I can't get it to go away…" She mumbled.

"Get what to go away?" Igawa asked quietly.

Tears welled up in her eyes. "I can still feel him.." Her voice trembled and Igawa's eyes widened as he realized what had really happened. He clenched his fists, slowly relaxing.

"Haruka…." Igawa trailed off, not sure what to say. He gently pulled the girl forward, holding her as she cried. He'd never seen the girl fall apart like this, she always acted so strong, so mature. It was easy to forget she was only a 13 year old girl.

"Shh, it's ok Haruka, it'll be ok." He said softly. After some time her trembling stopped, and he pulled back to look her in the eyes. She tried to look away, and he pulled her face back.

"D..does he hate me now?" She asked forlornly. Igawa blinked in confusion.

"Who?" He asked.

Haruka hesitated before answering. "M-Mamoru…" Igawa looked at her shocked.

"Oh Haruka, of course he doesn't hate you. He's worried about you, he's scared." Igawa said gently. Haruka looked up tentatively.

"Mamoru doesn't get scared…" She mumbled. Igawa smiled slightly.

"He was scared, scared for you. That's why he called me over." He paused for a moment, then reluctantly asked. "I need to make sure you weren't internally damaged…can you tell me where it hurts?"

Haruka looked down in shame, and Igawa spoke softly. "There is nothing to be ashamed of. This is not your fault. You can talk to me ok?" Haruka nodded.

"I…think I'm ok…" She took a trembling breath. "It hurts here, and hurts to sit down…." She pointed to her abdomen.

"Ok, I have to ask you some questions that may be uncomfortable to answer. Do you want to wait a bit, or do it now? Either way…you have to be completely honest." He looked at her as she debated internally.

"You can ask now.." She said. He nodded.

Igawa took a deep breath. "Did he pull out of you, or did you feel him cum inside of you." The question made her flinch. He felt bad for asking, but it was important to know. Haruka fidgeted looking down.

"Inside…" She said. Igawa had to keep himself from getting angry. What kind of person did this to a little girl? He calmed himself with some difficulty.

He finished his questions soon, then led Haruka to her room so she could get dressed. He walked to Mamorus room slowly.

* * *

Still they arent mine

sorry the chapters are so short, but they just seem to cut off well at these points, you know?

Igawa, the unfortunate computer nerd is much less prone to explosive anger than Mamoru. Mamoru couldnt handle personally examining Haruka because he's still angry and doesnt know how to comfort a kid, especially one thats just been hurt. He kills people that commit crimes, hes not used to comforting the survivors.


	5. Chapter 5: Unlovable

Chapter 5: Unlovable

Mamoru was sitting on his bed, face buried in his hands. Igawa was once again struck by the change in him. Mamoru looked up at Igawa as he walked in.

"Well how is she?" He asked. His voice was worn, and his face was paler than normal. Igawa hesitated. "Spit it out Igawa!" Mamoru growled.

"She's surprisingly responsive for someone her age after going through that…" Igawa paused.

"Tell me what he did to her Igawa. Tell me everything." Igawa could see the reluctance in Mamoru's eyes. He was afraid of what Igawa would tell him, and rightly so. Igawa sighed.

"She's lost both her virginities…he came inside her Mamoru…multiple times by the sound of it…we'll have to get her the pill...she's bruised pretty bad, a few tears, but not enough to need stitches..." Igawa looked down sadly. He jumped when Mamoru roared and punched the wall, leaving a hole right through the drywall. "Calm down Mamoru, you'll scare her." Igawa said quietly.

Mamoru slumped down against the wall. "Did she tell you why this happened?" He asked. Igawa didn't have time to answer. "She went to that monster…that excuse for a human being…because she had a vision….if she didn't go..I'd die…" Igawas eyes widened in shock. "She let that…that demon abuse her…for me." He looked at Igawa, face ashen. "Why?" He croaked.

Igawa sat down next to the man. "Well, it's obvious isn't it? She loves you." Mamoru looked at him.

"She's just a kid man." Mamoru shook his head.

"These past few months, she's had to be an adult. She cooks, and cleans, she fights. She hasn't known childhood since the day her parents were killed…and a kid would have shut down completely if this had happened…" Mamoru stared into space.

"Why the hell would she love me Igawa. I'm blind, I'm an insensitive prick, I kill people." He shook his head. "How could anyone love me."

Igawa hesitated. "I think she knows you'll change some day."

Mamoru scoffed. "How so."

"I think she's seen a vision of her future…and yours." Igawa paused. "I think she's seen it."

Mamoru stared at him. "Seen what?"

Igawa sighed. "Her wedding day, the day you both say, until death do us part."

* * *

Mamoru stood outside of Haruka's room. Igawa's words had thrown him off, he still didn't know what to say. Sighing he knocked on the door. "Haruka, I'm coming in." He said. He opened the door. Haruka was sitting in bed. She turned to look at him, then looked away. "Hey now, whats that all about?" He walked over and sat next to her. "I know I'm not much of a looker, but it wont burn your eyes out to look at me." She looked up at him slowly.

"Mamoru…" She hesitated. "What if…I'm pregnant…" Mamoru froze, recovering slowly.

"Don't worry Haruka, that won't happen." He said sternly. He took a deep breath. "Haruka…why did you go to him?"

"I couldn't let him kill you…" She said softly. He sighed and looked away. "I…I'm sorry Mamoru…you're important to me." She cut off and he looked back at her.

"Haruka…I would have given my life to spare you this experience. There aren't many things I'm willing to die for, but I'd rather die than know someone violated you." His voice broke at the end of the sentence. Haruka looked down.

"I…I don't regret my choice…You're alive….I don't regret that I did what I could to keep it that way.." Her voice was steadier, she tried to sound strong. He could practically hear the "but" in her sentence. He waited patiently for her to continue.

"I…only regret that…it couldn't have been you." She fidgeted as he stared at her blankly.

"That what couldn't be me?" He demanded. He struggled to wait for her to respond.

"That…it couldn't have been you…who took my innocence…" She looked away. "P-please..don't be angry…." She sobbed. Mamoru sat in shocked silence.

"Haruka….." He trailed off, trying to think of what to say.

"I…know y-you don't like me….I'm j just a nuisance…but I saw it….that one day..." She trailed off.

"One day what?" He asked softly.

"One day we'd be together…until death do us part...

Mamoru stared at her. He'd scoffed when Igawa had told him this, but he knew now that the guy had been right.

He sat in silence. He couldn't seem to put words together to form a sentence. Haruka fidgeted.

"Haruka…you're wrong…you aren't a nuisance. You've saved my ass countless times since you came here…but you have a long time until you'll be ready for "I do's" from anyone."

"I…I know…" They sat in silence for several minutes. Mamoru was lost in thought, he spoke absentmindedly as he stared into space.

"Haruka. How are you feeling?" He asked softly. She hesitated and looked up.

"I…I'm ok. Just sore."

Mamoru had seen enough victims of rape to know better.

"No, you aren't ok." Mamoru said, glancing in her direction. "You don't have to be so strong all the time. Tell me the truth."

Haruka bit her lip. "I...I can still feel him..." She shivered. "No matter how hard I scrub...I still feel dirty." Mamoru could hear the pain in her voice.

"Haruka...you are not dirty. What you did was very brave..." He said sternly, keeping his voice from sounding harsh.

She looked down. "He... he said no man would want me now..." She trembled. "He said I was impure..." She looked down.

"Listen to me Haruka. You don't worry about what other men want, because i'm not going to let them get near you. not outside of the organization, and even then, not when im not around. As for me, in my eyes you're still the little precognitive brat that refused to leave me alone." He smiled a little to show he was teasing her. She nodded a little, then looked at him.

"Mamoru...can I ask a favor?" She asked hesitantly.

"Sure, what is it?" He asked.

"Can you stay with me tonight...I don't want to be alone..."

Mamoru thought about it, then nodded. "Allright, I can do that." He stood. "Let me talk to Igawa for a sec, be right back."

"Promise you'll come back?" She asked quietly. He nodded.

"Always."

* * *

Authors notes

(realized ive been saying Artists notes. habbit i picked up from deviant art )

Sigh, still Mamoru and his buddies are out of my reach. they dont belong to me

I had planned on ending here, but i cant help but keep writing. The next manga chapter wont come out soon enough, somethings gotta keep me busy. let me know what you think of the story thus far!


	6. Chapter 6: Evolution

Chapter 6: Evolution

Mamoru listened to Haruka's soft breathing. Igawa had said he would take care of everything else, as long as Mamoru was with her to make sure she didn't run off again. Igawa was worried that she would have another vision and panic like last time. Her visions had become more frequent. She had already woken up several times just tonight. It worried Mamoru. This wasn't natural, not for Haruka. Slowly, trying not to wake her, Mamoru stood and walked out the door into the other room.

"Igawa…I need to talk to you." The other man turned to look at him curiously."

"What's up? Is she ok?" Mamoru nodded.

"Yea, she's ok…have you noticed the increase in frequency of her visions lately?" Igawa nodded thoughtfully.

"I did notice that. And they all seem to trouble her a great deal…it's concerned me for a while now, but I had hoped it would subside…"

"Do you have any idea what could be causing it?" Mamoru heard the man sigh.

"I'm not sure. It could be any number of things, all less likely than the next. I-" Igawa stopped mid sentence as a thud was heard from Haruka's room. Mamoru rushed over, followed closely by Igawa.

"Haruka, are you ok?" Mamoru heard a soft groan and Igawa rushed over to her before he could move.

"Haruka, what is it?" He asked softly. Haruka didn't answer for what seemed like eternity. Mamoru about went mad waiting on her to speak, but he held his tongue. Minutes later she blinked and opened her eyes.

"Igawa? Mamoru? What's wrong?" She asked shakily. Igawa looked confused.

"You fell out of bed or something, so we came to see if you were ok. What happened?" Haruka blinked in confusion.

"I think I was dreaming…but it didn't feel like a dream…" She mumbled. Igawa moved her hair out of her face gently, looking into her eyes.

"Was it a vision?" She hesitated and then nodded slowly.

"I think so…" Igawa struggled to keep his face calm as he helped the girl into bed.

"Go back to sleep honey. Here, take this. It'll help you sleep." He pulled a bottle out of his coat pocket, and handed her some pills. She nodded and took them, then laid back down, eventually drifting off to sleep. Igawa motioned for Mamoru to follow him as he walked out of the room.

"That vision…that lasted a good couple of minutes, and who knows how long before she fell out of bed." Igawa stated quietly.

"What does that mean?" Mamoru asked hesitantly. Igawa sat down tiredly.

"I think her ability has been evolving…" He said seriously.

"Evolving? How do you mean?" Mamoru demanded.

"I mean…it won't be long before Haruka can no longer tell the difference between reality and her visions…"

* * *

Hey guys, long time no see. Sorry I haven't Updated, I have been so caught up with school and life. I hope you enjoyed this new chapter, and I am already working on the next, so it wont be long, I promise. Thanks for being so patient with me, I'll make the wait worth while!

Love

Night


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